Gooseys Gabbings-The World of Weird Bizarre and Odd News

> Gooseys Gabbings-The World of Weird Bizarre and Odd News

Friday, April 6, 2007

Thief trapped by 95-year old woman

BERLIN: A 95-year-old German woman solved a series of mystery thefts in a retirement home when she set a trap, hid in a toilet, and caught the thief red-handed.

"It was a real case of Miss Marple," said a police spokesman in the eastern town of Saalfeld on Thursday. "It's good to know there are still courageous old ladies out there."

The elderly sleuth left cash out in her room as bait and then withdrew to the toilet to lie in wait. A cleaner then entered and pocketed the money, unaware she was being watched.

"Then the old lady hit the alarm button in the toilet and staff in the home nabbed the cleaner," the spokesman said.

The cleaner, 36, later confessed to police she was responsible for other thefts from the home near the spa resort of Bad Lobenstein.

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Thursday, April 5, 2007

Angry at your school board? Hey, here's some grapes...

So-called activists disrupted the school board as it voted to balance its budget by closing schools to keep its costs in line with its declining student population. One audience member threw grapes, hitting a board member in the chest and getting arrested.

Detroit is so mired in the past - the way the auto industry works, the way the state legislature doesn’t, the way race relations stymie our progress – that it is possible that some activists still believe that it’s 1968.

But the type of antics that occur at most board meetings accomplish nothing – except to provide entertainment for news-watchers across America.

Agnes Hitchcock, the Grape-Thrower, could have offered the board suggestions on how to continue to serve steak on a hamburger budget. Instead, she became the Grape-Thrower, a national laughingstock

Problem is, she made Detroit a laughingstock as well. And that ought to be a crime.

Source: freep.com

Goosey's Gabbings...

Agnes is part of what is called the "Call Em Out" Coalition. Those who want to join should know that you should be able to hit your targets from more than 20 yards away with grapes, apples, rocks, orange, and an occasional pineapple heave. If you cannot perform these duties, you will be stoned with peach pits. You have been warned.

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Monday, April 2, 2007

Jesus vs. Satan: The battle of the BEEPs

A battle between good and evil is brewing on Rubber Avenue.

Workers at two neighboring businesses in a small shopping plaza at 195 Rubber Ave. have differing opinions about whether or not people should show support for Jesus. An owner of a shop that puts photos onto DVDs placed a sign in front of a parking lot, which is used by both businesses, that says, "Easter: Beep for Christ."

A tattoo artist next door countered Friday with a sign that says, "Honk twice for..." and shows a caricature of a red devil underneath the text.

And so the battle began.

"Beep! Honk, honk!" Those were the sounds that blared all day from the cars of hundreds of commuters who traveled on Rubber Avenue, one of the busiest streets in the borough. Some beeped twice, while others gave just one toot on their car horns.

Claudette Soden, a devout Christian and owner of Photos Onto DVD, fired the first shot last week when she put up her Easter sign. Phil Young, who works at No Regrets next door to Soden's business, countered on Friday morning with his satanic sign.
Soden says Jesus is her "partner in business," and she wants everyone to know it.

"His sign is not bothering me, but I know it's bothering Jesus," she said. . "And children are going to pass by that sign and say, 'What is that? It looks like a devil.' And what are parents going to say to that?"

Goosey's Gabbings...

I think this is actually pretty comical, although again those that are the zealots and anti-religion will have a heyday with this. I am sure someone will come along and say "Scream if you don't believe in NEITHER of these..."

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Man Shows up to DUI Hearing Drunk

YORK, Pa. -- Police in York County said a man who arrived at court drunk for a drunken-driving hearing has been charged again with driving under the influence. Paul Zeigler, 45, of Glen Rock, appeared at a preliminary hearing at the Shrewsbury district court on March 26 for a DUI charge from December. Police said Zeigler appeared to be intoxicated at the hearing.

After his court appearance, police said, Zeigler failed a portable breath test for alcohol and was taken into custody for a blood test. Officials said the second test revealed that Zeigler's blood-alcohol level was twice the legal driving limit and he was charged with DUI.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Well, there's been stupider, but not much dumber...I can just see it, like the scene from Hoosiers when Dennis Hopper stumbles onto the court--"I'm outta order, you're outta order, the cigarette machine is out of order!!"

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Friday, March 30, 2007

NIT Championship Shirts Misspelled

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) -- Ouch! These T-shirts are hardly worthy of the NIT champions.

They say "West Virgina." That's right, no "i" before the "a."

The Mountaineers wore them anyway after their 78-73 victory over Clemson on Thursday night.

WVU sports information director Shelly Poe said the NIT printed the shirts. Calls to tournament officials were not immediately returned Friday.

West Virginia coach John Beilein also could not be reached for comment. He and the team were on their way back to West Virginia after winning their first NIT title in 65 years.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Well, could have been worse than Virgina...

I guess that hiring good work for the 66th-best team in the country is hard to come by. Better luck next time.

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Cincinnati Little League Bans Negative Chatter

(Paul Daugherty, Cincinnati Enquirer)

In a few weeks, 23,000 kids in the Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky area will celebrate the 75th anniversary of Knothole baseball by filling the springtime air with the nostalgic sounds of the game we all grew up with:

Hey, battuh-battuh. Please swing if it makes you feel good about yourself!

The Knothole Club of Greater Cincinnati has decided to eliminate "chatter." Unless the chatter is "positive" and directed at your own team. You can't say "We want a pitcher, not an underwear stitcher!" unless, maybe, you grew up in a culture that idolizes underwear stitchers. Standings for the Feelgood Division of the Self Esteem League will be available any time now.

Until then, a moment of silence for the death of an American tradition. Proponents of the new edict say it was a necessary response to increased incidents of taunting. They cite one especially ugly example from June, involving a game in Colerain Township between two teams of 14-year-olds in the A-2 division. One parent received 15 stitches after a player whacked him on the forehead with a metal-spiked baseball shoe.

The incident began with a coach being ejected for arguing a balk call and escalated into a full-scale brawl.

Apparently these days, one kid's "no batt-uh" is another kid's "let's throw down."

"We didn't want Knothole to get a bad name for anything," Knothole president Dave Epplen explained. "If you're saying, 'Swing, batter,' and this poor little kid is swinging at everything, he feels bad and maybe he turns to the catcher and gets mad. Honest to gosh, I didn't have any trouble doing this."

Knothole follows the Rules of Major League Baseball. Rule 4.06(a)(2) states, "No manager, player, substitute, coach, trainer or batboy shall at any time, whether from the bench, the coach's box or on the playing field or elsewhere, use language which will in any manner refer to or reflect upon opposing players, an umpire, or any spectator."

Coaches and players found guilty of "negative" chatter will be warned once, then suspended for a game. Maybe they'll be sentenced to watching "Oprah" for a month, too.

"We're going to follow the rule as it's written," Jim Pecot, umpire coordinator for District 34, said.

Practically speaking, there is reason for the move. Taking their cues from the pros, kids have raised (or lowered) the level of chatter to suit the times. It isn't enough now to tell a pitcher he has a glass arm. You also have to question his heritage or disrespect him after a home run.

Given that some of the umpires working lower-level Knothole games are as young as 12, it can be hard for them to differentiate between good-natured chatter and over-the-top woofing. As Pecot put it: "It goes from 'Hey batter, batter' to telling the pitcher he sucks. It gets out of hand. Sometimes, that can be tough for a 13- or 14-year-old umpire to handle."

Well, OK. Kids can be cruel (always have been); young umps can be, um, callow (always have been); and parents, coaches and anyone else who should know better can release their inner-ogres when it comes to kid sports (always have). Any adult ragging a 10-year-old player or a 12-year-old ump should be sent to his room with no "SportsCenter."

But, c'mon.

There are some truths we hold self-evident. Big stuff, such as life, liberty and all that. And there are other, more vital verities, such as the right to shout mildly denigrating things at the other team's pitcher. Or to tell a batter to swing. Or that a catcher's underwear is showing. Great, all-American stuff.

Only now, that's out. You can't have little taunters screaming "Pitcher has a glass arm!" and not expect Attica to break out.

"Chatter is the foundation of youth baseball," said Nick Lutz, a coach in the Loveland Youth Baseball Organization's D-Rec League of 8- and 9-year-olds. "If my self-esteem had been damaged by Knothole, I'd have killed myself by now. I was probably a .190 hitter. I still had fun yelling 'hey batter-batter.' "

The kids on Lutz's team have varying opinions. Essentially, they come down to "Do we still get a snack after the game?"

Said Ryan Mangan, 9: "It's sort of weird, but it has a point. Some kids don't have the same feelings as you." Will Reverman, 8, allowed that the rule was "dumb." Ryan Lutz said it was "really dumb."

Eight-year-old Michael Staley had a more practical concern: "We can still steal, right?"

Goosey's Gabbings...

Not much more to say about this. Daugherty says it well, and with as much sarcasm snark that should be about this; our PC society with this stuff needs to worry a little more than about what is said on a baseball field.

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When you rob a bank, you may want to avoid using Google to learn how to do it

NORWICH, Conn. Mar 30, 2007 (AP)— A bank robbery suspect was arrested after leaving a trail of cyberclues, including an online search for "how not to rob a bank," police said.

Kevin Fitzpatrick, 32, was arraigned Thursday on charges of robbery and larceny for a Sept. 28, 2005, robbery. He was held on unrelated charges in New York at the time of his arrest.

Police said Fitzpatrick was staying with a woman at the time of the Norwich robbery and spent a great deal of time on her computer. They had met on the Internet and had never met in person when he asked to stay for several days, borrowing her car the day of the robbery and returning with a lot of cash, claiming he won it at the Mohegan Sun casino, police said.

Police allege Fitzpatrick walked into a Liberty Bank branch and handed a teller a note demanding money. A week later, a tip led police to the friend, who said she recognized Fitzpatrick from a surveillance photo posted on a newspaper Web site.

Police said when the friend checked the log of her computer, she noticed a search had been conducted for "Norwich bank robbery."

A police search of the computer revealed numerous searches concerning bank robberies.

"Most times when citizens get involved, relaying honest and accurate information about what they see, it's a benefit to the investigation," police Capt. Timothy Menard said.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Ok, so let me get this straight..he had met this woman on the internet, they had never met before, and then he asked to stay for several days AND she loaned him her car? Ummmm....seriously--I understand there is a basis for trust with some people, but WAKE UP SISTER!!!!

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Man tries to illegally smuggle geckos in his socks

A MELBOURNE man allegedly caught hiding three native geckos in his socks will be charged with wildlife offences.

The Department of Sustainability and Environment (DSE) says the man caught the protected native lizards then hid them in socks while transporting them through central Victoria.

DSE north west region wildlife officer Shaun Burke said the Marble-velvet Gecko, an Eastern Spiny-tailed Gecko and a Three-spot Knob-tailed Gecko are believed to have been taken from the wild in New South Wales and brought into Victoria.

Police from Heathcote, near Bendigo, found the lizards during a search of the man's car and alerted wildlife authorities a week ago.

Mr Burke said the man's home was searched but no other protected wildlife was found.

Mr Burke said some species of geckos were popular pets and could fetch high prices on the black market but removing them from the wild had serious consequences.

"The removal of animals like these can heavily affect the local populations from which they were taken, and potentially transmit diseases into other reptile communities," he said.

Unlawfully taking wildlife can attract fines of up to $24,000 or two years' jail or both under the Wildlife Act 1975.

Unlawfully importing wildlife into Victoria attracts a penalty of up to $10,000.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Well, he may be penalized 10,000 eventually for his actions, but he saved much more on his car insurance.

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Teacher arrested for stealing Toilet Paper

OSAKA -- A staff member of an Osaka Prefecture high school has been dismissed for stealing toilet paper from the school, the Osaka Prefectural Board of Education said.

The 44-year-old female staffer was allegedly caught putting toilet paper -- worth 37 yen -- into her bag on Aug. 23 last year. The principal of the school subsequently filed a report with police.

The woman was summarily indicted and fined 100,000 yen. She reportedly has admitted to the allegations, but said she "didn't know" when asked why she had stolen the toilet paper.

The woman's colleagues had apparently been watching her behavior after toilet paper began running out at an abnormally fast pace around September 2004. (Mainichi)

Goosey's Gabbings...

I am pretty sure this woman will not be able to wipe this stain from her record.

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Australian Burglars decide to have a romp in the sack while stealing

DARWIN,Australia, March 29--Burglars who broke into a house in Darwin, Australia, had sex in the victim's master bedroom before fleeing with their loot.The Northern Territory News reported the homeowner returned from vacation to find he had been robbed of cash and alcohol while a housesitter he had employed slept throughout the raid in another bedroom.

"He'd been out drinking and didn't hear what was going on," said the householder, who asked not to be named. "But the evidence of what the thieves got up to before leaving was there for all to see," he told theNews. "The sheets have been taken away for DNA sampling and I have told the police that I don't want them back."

Goosey's Gabbings...

New on DVD! THIEVES GONE WILD!! AUSSIE STYLE!

I'm going to make a wild guess and go out on a limb that the housesitter will probably not be asked back to duty. Just a hunch.

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Students to get college credit by attending Final Four

ATLANTA (AP) -- Some students may skip classes this week to attend college basketball's Final Four, though at least a dozen have managed to score class credits out of the trip.

The students are sports management majors at Lynn University in South Florida. As part of a course titled "The Final Four Experience," they will be traveling with a couple of professors to Atlanta to get a firsthand look at what goes into the major sporting event.

And get this, each student gets three credits for the excursion.

"It's a chance for us to meet people with high positions and see how they got to where they are now," junior Emily Lipman said. "Then we'll be able to feed off that."

The group arrived Wednesday and won't just attend the Final Four. They will tour the city's pro and college sports stadiums, network with team executives and some sponsors, including representatives of The Coca-Cola Co.

The trip cost $3,250 per student. It may seem pricey but the total covered the cost of the class, a hotel room for six nights, food, roundtrip airline tickets, two rental minivans, a Georgia Tech baseball game and Thrashers hockey game, along with the Final Four and championship games at the Georgia Dome.

Though it may sound like a sports fan's dream, the students will be required to put in some work. They'll take a couple of exams, keep a diary and will hold a presentation after the trip.

"We said to ourselves, 'What's the best way to teach our students?"' professor Theodore Curtis said. "We knew they needed to see something and experience it, rather than sit during a lecture and listen to us."

Professor Charles Barr, who has escorted Lynn students on overseas study tours, said attending the Final Four was something that couldn't be missed.

"Since it's in our backyard, why not?" he asked. "With the attention the Final Four gets, it provides a perfect opportunity. It gives them a closer look at what they will do in the future."

Sports management majors typically pursue front-office positions with professional or collegiate teams.

"This trip is a stepping stool for us," said senior Joaquin Smits from New York, who has never visited Atlanta. "That's why I don't mind doing any extra work."

Out of 30 applicants for the course, Barr and Curtis picked 12 students they thought showed the most work ethic and dedication in their major.

Lipman was an easy choice. The Atlanta native, who is president of the university's sports management club, wants to work for a major league baseball franchise -- preferably for her hometown Braves.

Goosey's Gabbings...

I wonder if they will get credit for how much body paint they can put on, beer they can drink, how loud they can scream obscenities at the referees, and whether spending 3K on a trip was worth Mom and Dad having to once again go into their 401Ks and wait for another year to retire.

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Are you alive? Prove it--but you'll have to pay to do so

BUCHAREST (Reuters) - A cashier for Romania's state-owned railway has been asked to pay a month's worth of wages to receive government confirmation that she is alive.

Filoftea Popescu discovered when she applied for a passport that the Romania's People Registration Service had mistakenly declared her dead in November 2005, stripping her of all her rights as a citizen.

"I went to the police ... and I found out that I have no rights in the Romanian state because I died in 2005," the 55-year-old Popescu was quoted on Monday by daily Evenimentul Zilei as saying.

Romania is struggling to cut through vast red tape and complicated legislation to improve a bloated and ineffective administration in order to benefit from new membership in the European Union.

"A lawyer told me it costs me 500 lei (to obtain a court order). Why should I pay to prove I am alive?" Popescu said.

The People Registration Service admitted its error and said it fired the staff responsible.

But Popescu's family doctor is still reeling from the shock of seeing her at his office not long after receiving a copy of her death certificate from the state.

"When she came to my clinic, I lost my voice," said Nicolae Toboiu.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Well, at least this has been taken care of...now, if we could just get Cheney to pay to prove that he has a brain.

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Michigan Sewage missing--15 million gallons worth

SAND LAKE, Mich. (AP) - About 15 million gallons of partially treated sewage water disappeared from a 250,000 square-foot storage lagoon into a sinkhole, but officials don't know where it went after that.

Kent County utility operator Nathan Danenberg, who runs the sewage treatment system for Sand Lake, discovered the leak in the 8-foot-deep lagoon on Friday while taking samples. It wasn't clear when or why the leak occurred.

"I don't know if maybe there are old mines in the area," Danenberg told The Grand Rapids Press for a story published Tuesday.

"It's an odd case. A sinkhole gobbled up all the water and we don't know where it went... It seems to have just gone down into the earth.

"We don't smell anything and we don't see anything."

Mike Bolf, drinking water district engineer for the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, said the state would conduct tests on nearby municipal wells, which are downstream as groundwater flows. But the wells are believed deep enough to be protected by a natural clay or shale wall, he said.

The lagoon, lined with clay, is one of three that house sewage from the village during winter while it is treated with bacteria.

Goosey's Gabbings...

You just know there is some freaky-deaky guy at the end of some pipe somewhere going "OH YEAH!!! THIS IS MY DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!"

My feeling is that it was that stealing bastard Nessie. You gotta watch out for those Loch Ness creatures....

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Peeping Tom must wear fluorescent jacket

A peeping Tom has been banned from going out at night without a fluorescent jacket on.

Stephen Cooper, 24, has been ordered to wear the high-visibility clothing so he can be spotted by potential victims.

The pervert, who has pleaded guilty to voyeurism, received the order after being caught creeping into a woman's garden and staring through a crack in her curtains.

Cooper is awaiting sentence for the offence but in the meantime he has been ordered to don a bright neon coat whenever he ventures out after dark.

Cooper admitted the offence which took place on January 11. He was already on the Sex Offenders Register and the offence was the second time he had breached the conditions imposed on him.

Judge Peter Dedman made the bizarre ban at Southend Crown Court in Essex after adjourning sentencing while psychiatric reports are drawn up.

He said: "I think it is appropriate such an order should be made for the protection of the public in particular women alone, either at home or work or in the street, and also for his own protection to stop him offending.

"He has admitted being in someone's garden peering through the crack in the curtains in the hope of seeing something of a nature which would allow hime to reach sexual gratification."

The Sex Offenders' Prevention Order was drawn up between Cooper, from South Ockendon, Essex, and the Essex Police public protection team. But some have been outraged by the unusual order, saying it will mark him out as a sex offender.

Lesley Bates, a barrister who specialises in sex offence cases, said: "It is very difficult to see how making him wear a fluorescent jacket will prevent further voyeurism.

But, perhaps, more seriously, it appears to have failed to consider the potential consequences which are disproportionate to the benefits.

"It is tantamount to asking him to walk around wearing a sign saying, 'I'm a sex offender'."

Goosey's Gabbings...

This has me a little befuddled. One, because the man was referred to as "the pervert" in this article and that this is not a one-size-fits-all situation. I mean, he has to wear a fluorescent jacket at night because he's a peeping tom? Bates said it correctly that this does nothing other than to make the guy be more creative in how he "peeps"...Plus, what other things are being done for other sex offenders? Rapists have to be escorted everywhere at night? Pedophiles can't be within a mile of anyone under 18, with supervision? Somehow, something here just doesn't feel right...

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Seattle area softball team wins game 64-0

Woodinville High School's 64-0 fastpitch softball win over Franklin last week prompted the KingCo 4A coaches to meet Tuesday night to discuss ways to avoid any kind of repeat performance and led to some soul-searching by Woodinville coach Jim Weir.

"Baseball and softball have been part of my life since I was 7 years old," Weir said. "The last thing I want to do is disrespect any opponent, disrespect the game. What happened is unfortunate. I have been questioning myself these last four-five days."

"I have so much respect for this game," he added. "What hurts me the most is maybe I hurt that [respect]. That was not my intention."

Weir said he was "shocked" by the final score after the March 21 game ended. He said he was concentrating more on making sure his players were playing the game right and had lost count of the score.

"If anything positive can come out of this, it's that we can implement some new rules so this never happens again," Weir said.

The meeting, held at Juanita High School, was closed to the public but Tim Crowder, Juanita athletic director in charge of KingCo 4A fastpitch, said one proposal was to change the "mercy rule" — when a game is ended early because of a lopsided score.

A 15-run lead after three full innings would be the new standard, replacing a 10-run lead after five innings. Fastpitch games normally last seven innings, and state rules require a game to go at least five innings for it to be official.

Several other recommendations will be part of the overall plan presented to conference principals and athletic directors, who will make a final decision in the next few weeks. Crowder declined to comment on the other recommendations.

"Everyone's on the same page in terms of trying to do what's best for the kids and still compete," Crowder said.

Eight of 11 coaches attended the meeting and agreed unanimously on the recommendations, he added.

Another suggestion at the meeting involved moving Franklin to a full-time junior-varsity schedule for the rest of the season. The Quakers' struggling program has been beaten 30-0, 24-0 and 13-0 in its three other games.

But Crowder said Washington Interscholastic Activities Association rules prohibit such a move.

Franklin principal Jennifer Wiley said her school's softball team will have to learn how to define success for itself, apart from the scoreboard.

"Our program is about taking kids where they are and growing them from game to game," Wiley said. "We're not measuring success by wins and losses. ... Sometimes that puts us at the top of the heap, and sometimes it does not. There's so much more to athletics than winning, and we need to make sure we're cultivating all those things."

Wiley said there was no indication from her coaches or players at the game that Woodinville was running up the score. Weir said his team stopped being aggressive — hit-and-runs, taking extra bases, tagging up — after going up 7-0.

Weir isn't sure where the line should be drawn.

"At what point is it just too much? Twenty, thirty, forty runs?" he asked in a letter on the team's Web site. "If this game does anything positive, it will point out the inequities in our league, rules that need to be changed and the role umpires can take in such an unbalanced game."

Goosey's Gabbings...

That last synopsis and philosophy was a joke. Does this guy honestly believe that this can teach anyone anything other than the fact that his sportsmanship is basically so far gone that it takes being embarrassed by it to really make a difference?

I understand that there are situations where teams just can't compete, as it seems this team can't, but there's also a line where you trade dignity for out and out giving a psychological wedgie to these individuals. Give me a damn break here...

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Tampa misspells Kennedy sign; Teddy's so drunk he thinks it's spelled right

Sorry, President Kennedy. Tampa misspelled your name.

The city put up a new street sign last night at the corner of Kennedy Boulevard and Ashley Drive. The glitch, though, was that the city spelled Kennedy “Kenndey.”

Call it human error, said Irv Lee, the city’s public works director.

“Sometimes when you’re baking cakes, you break a few eggs,” Lee said.

Irv said the error is especially unfortunate because it is at such a high-profile intersection. The city will put up a corrected sign tonight.

“We don’t want to dishonor the name of President Kennedy,” Lee said.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Not real sure why the quote from Lee was used as it was. Would he say that about some manholes that turned up missing when they installed them? "Sometimes when you're baking cakes, you break a few eggs?" Come on man....at least come up with something better than that (and maybe a little more manly for a "public works" director)

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"Senior" officer not just a moniker; Oldest CEO turns 106

Jack A. Weil, the founder and chief executive of Denver-based Rockmount Ranch Wear, is believed to be the nation's oldest CEO.

He turns 106 today.

Credited with introducing snap buttons on Western shirts, Weil's slim-fitting shirts have been worn by luminaries including Ronald Reagan, Elvis Presley and Eric Clapton.

"We hit on something that interested people," said Weil, speaking from the company's retail outlet and offices at 1626 Wazee St. in downtown Denver. "It was the attraction of the Rocky Mountains."

Weil's grandson Steve heads daily operations of the manufacturing company, which sells internationally.

Weil has learned a thing or two about life and business during his more than 10 decades. Here are some nuggets of wisdom from "Papa Jack."

On making a good Western shirt: "A crummy shirt fits like a sack. The other is a form-fitting shirt, which is what I figured to make."

On building a successful business: "You've got to consider the environment, and you've got to consider the times. I learned a long time ago that I don't want anyone to give me more than 5 percent of my business. Because if I lose them, that would put too much pressure on (the company)."

On dealing with overdue customers: "I suggest that they send me three or four checks post-dated. Not too many (business) people do that. You have to understand your customers' problems."

On working every day: "What the heck else would I do?"

On opening a retail store: "We went into retail to stay in business. Wal-Mart has put a lot of independent merchants out of business. The wholesalers are nearly gone. But it might be better for the consumer."

On doing business with the founder of retailer J.C. Penney: "I sold Penney some of his first shirts. James Cash Penney was a country boy out of Missouri. He was a smart guy."

On money and politics: "I've always felt that a young man worth his salt is a Democrat until he makes a little money. And if he wants to save that money, he becomes a Republican."

On marrying well: "I guess I didn't know any better. I married a country girl, but she was a smarty." (His wife, Beatrice, died in 1990.)

On drinking whiskey: "I drink for medicinal purposes. I take a shot of Jack Daniel's about twice a week to keep my blood thin."

Goosey's Gabbings...

The sad thing is, when this guy actually retires--he may not have any Social Security..even though he qualified for it when the Beatles first hit the Ed Sullivan show...

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Dog performs Heimlich on owner--still has to sleep on the floor

CALVERT, Md. - Toby, a 2-year-old golden retriever, saw his owner choking on a piece of fruit and began jumping up and down on the woman's chest. The dog's owner believes the dog was trying to perform the Heimlich maneuver and saved her life.

Debbie Parkhurst, 45, of Calvert told the Cecil Whig she was eating an apple at her home Friday when a piece lodged in her throat. She attempted to perform the Heimlich maneuver on herself but it didn't work. After she began beating on her chest, she said Toby noticed and got involved.

"The next think I know, Toby's up on his hind feet and he's got his front paws on my shoulders," she recalled. "He pushed me to the ground, and once I was on my back, he began jumping up and down on my chest."

That's when the apple dislodged and Toby started licking her face to keep her from passing out, she said.

"I literally have pawprint-shaped bruises on my chest. I'm still a little hoarse, but otherwise, I'm OK," Parkhurst said.

"The doctor said I probably wouldnt be here without Toby," said Parkhurst, a jewelry artist. "I keep looking at him and saying 'Youre amazing.'"

Goosey's Gabbings...

A truly amazing story...Shows again how great golden retrievers are and that they are more intelligent than 90% of our government officials.

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Dog "All Hopped up on the V" hospitalized

A male dog in Chengdu, Sichuan, had to receive an intravenous drip in hospital after being given Viagra and made to mate with three female dogs on a single day.

Wang, the dog's owner, has been very busy since mating season arrived. Her dog is considered handsome, and many owners of female dogs want her dog to sire puppies with their pets. Wang can earn more than 1,000 yuan ($128) per breeding session, so in order to boost her earnings she fed her dog Viagra and made it mate with three female dogs last Sunday. The effort was apparently strenuous enough that the dog had to be taken to hospital.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Lesson to all of you out there...ok, we know how dogs like to do the humpty dance on our legs, and this one was forced to do it 3 times in one day and it caused hospitalization, so if you want to get into the zone, that whole "erections longer than 4 hours should seek medical care" funny warning isn't so funny, now is it?

If the dog is in the hospital, where is the owner? Are his cellmates going to be given Viagra?

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Woman drops 40 cigarette a day habit, now addicted to inhalers

A SMOKER beat a 40-a-day habit — only to get hooked on plastic substitute ciggies instead.

Linda Nutt, 58, conquered her 40-year habit by using nicotine replacement inhalers.

The Nicorette Inhalators contain a cartridge impregnated with a tiny dose of nicotine.

The gadgets are designed to give smokers the sensation of having a puff while holding something cigarette-shaped in their fingers.

But three years on, mum Linda is now addicted to chewing the Inhalators’ plastic cases and gets through at least one a day.

Nicorette manufacturer Pfizer has sent her hundreds free in an attempt to help her. But now the firm has refused to give her any more, saying she must beat the addiction once and for all.

And Linda’s GP cannot prescribe any more Inhalators, which cost £6 for six, on the NHS.

Now retired Linda, of Sheldon, Birmingham, is scared she will start smoking again.

She said: “I don’t understand why Pfizer had a change of heart. It’s the plastic I’m addicted to, not the cartridge.”

Goosey's Gabbings...

Ok, so you're addicted to the plastic. Buy a couple bags of bic pens or markers, shove 'em in your mouth, and poof! You're cured!

Has this woman ever given any thought to possibly going through a 12-step program that doesn't involve something resembling a cigarette hanging from her jowls?

If she could afford 40 cigarettes a day, she can afford to get whatever she needs as far as "replica" cigarettes. Don't they still sell those candy cigarettes? Oh, wait, then she'd probably gain 100 lbs and sue the company...nevermind.

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