Gooseys Gabbings-The World of Weird Bizarre and Odd News

> Gooseys Gabbings-The World of Weird Bizarre and Odd News

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Man steals from Police fundraiser

EAST DONEGAL TOWNSHIP, Pa. -- When Susquehanna Regional police got a call about a theft at the Sheetz in East Donegal Township, they had no idea they were the victims.The police department had put out a collection can at the Sheetz to raise money for hospice. The fundraiser was in memory of the fathers of three officers' who had all recently passed away. When police watched surveillance tape from the Sheetz, they said they saw a man mill about the store for a bit, then pick up the can and walk out.

"Personally, I was really angry about the whole thing," said Susquehanna Regional police Officer A.J. Hall.A camera outside the store recorded the license plate and police used it to track down the man who they said can be seen on camera. Police identified him as Curtis Mellinger Jr."He told me he needed money for food and gas," Hall said. "He told me he was too paranoid to read the bucket, but he just took the money."Police said they think Mellinger got away with about $50 to $100. Mellinger was charged with theft.Despite the theft of the bucket, police said they still collected about $1,200 for Hospice of Lancaster County.In exchange for the donations, the officers involved shaved their heads.

Goosey's Gabbings...
I understand that this was not the world's most brightest criminal--but he said he was "too paranoid" to read the bucket? Umm...ok.

Smile, Curtis....you're on Dumbass Camera....

Labels: criminal, dumb crimes, dumb criminals, dumb news, funny, humorous, man steals from police, news, odd, odd news, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, pennsylvania

Cheeseburgers (Not) in Paradise

HUDSON, N.H. -- An order of double cheeseburgers turned into an unhappy meal over the weekend at a Hudson McDonald's restaurant.Hudson police said Thomas Lee Reagan, 45, complained about the quality of the two double cheeseburgers he ordered at about 8 p.m.
Saturday at the McDonald's on Derry Road.

"Apparently Mr. Reagan was served a hamburger that was not up to his standards. After he complained to the manager regarding the quality of the food, (the restaurant) refunded his money and, apparently, he wasn't happy with that," said Sgt. Donna Briggs of the Hudson Police Department.

According to court records, Reagan complained about his food being greasy and was refunded $2.16 but Reagan began yelling obscenities, forcing several patrons with young children to leave."After initially confronting the store manager, (Reagan) went behind the counter apparently to engage the cook in some verbal confrontation," Briggs said.

When police arrived, they felt that Reagan was intoxicated and tried to get him to leave the McDonald's property, officials said."He became belligerent; threw his food on the ground," said Capt. Don Breault of the Hudson Police Department.

"The officers wound up charging him with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest, at which time, he got in a fight with the officers; threw a punch at one of the officers. They went to the ground, and a second officer at the scene actually used a Taser (gun) on (Reagan)." Both police officers suffered minor injuries. Reagan had a cut on his head that needed nine stitches to close. Reagan was charged with criminal trespassing and three counts of simple assault. He was released on $1,000 personal recognizance bail.

Goosey's Gabbings...
So, two hamburgers basically cost Mr. Reagan $1,002.16. Now that's a spicy meatball!!

When reached for comment, Mr. Reagan declared--"Robble Robble".

Labels: bizarre, comedy, criminal, dumb crimes, dumb criminals, humorous, man arrested at Mcdonald's, McDonald's, odd, odd news, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, Thomas Lee Reagan

You put WHAT in my hair?

Mike Davidson from Reuters reports: Take a sheet of paper and list 1,000 things somebody might put in your hair. Start with a first choice like herbal shampoo, and work down to the last choice, which may be a bag of ticks and roaches or something like that.

I’m betting that bull semen would be pretty far down on the list, and yet, an upmarket London hair salon offers exactly that, and you get to pay a lot for it, too.

Now, that by itself is gross enough, but it gets worse. A hair stylist tells how the treatment was developed, and casually mentions, ”we secretly tried it on clients.”

Excuse me? Is this a hair salon, or some kind of Transylvanian laboratory the villagers end up torching?

Goosey's Gabbings...
Overheard at the salon:
"Oh my goodness William! You look like such a stud!" (snickering)
"Would you like something to drink? We have lots of Red Bull." (snickering)
"You don't think your hair looks divine? Bull!" (hysterical laughing)

Labels: bizarre, bull semen in hair, creepy, London news, news, odd, odd news, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, strange, weird

"Flowery fragrance" New Police Cologne

AHMEDABAD, India (Reuters) - Police in India's Western state of Gujarat are to wear new uniforms impregnated with the fragrance of flowers and citrus to help improve their image.

"Most policemen look hassled, drenched in sweat after coming from any scene of crime," said Somesh Singh, a designer at the National Institute of Design in Ahmedabad that drew up the uniforms on request of the state government.

"They are surely not the best person one would like to meet, but if they smell good and fresh one might as well approach them," said Singh.

The uniforms, to be introduced in the next few months to the state's 300,000 police, use cotton with a fragrant finish, reflective prints and fiber optic technology to make sure the uniform not only smells good but glows at night so officials can be located easily .

The uniforms will retain the scent even after washing as the fragrance is embedded in the cotton during processing.

Some police say they are eager to try out the new uniforms.

"We are tired wearing the thick cotton brown color uniform with a broad belt and plastic badges for several decades now," said R.K. Patel a senior police officer.

"If the new uniforms makes us stand out in the crowd, keeps us active with pleasant aroma and is yet very formal, then we are all for it."

Goosey's Gabbings...

PSA:

Ever have one of those tough days when you are running after criminals and just plain stink? Ever have a time when you have that "not so fresh" feeling?

Well, don't fret.

We've got a solution for you. Don't go a day without making sure that you smell your best at all times, whether it's picking up a crackhead from a dumpster, trying to pull a violent husband off his bloody wife, or during a 10-hour hostage standoff. Never worry about it again with our new uniforms. Comes in Police Peony, Dangerous Daffodill, and Miranda Mum.

Labels: bizarre, comedy, funny, funny news, humorous, new uniforms, news, odd, odd news, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, police officers, strange

"Borat" DVD selling well in Kazakhstan-NICE!

LONDON (Hollywood Reporter) - Kazakhs are rushing to order Sacha Baron Cohen's "Borat" on DVD from Amazon.co.uk, the online giant said.

"Borat" topped the order list from consumers in the former Soviet republic last week, according to Amazon head of media Rakhi Parekh.

"With the controversy the film caused around the world, it seems residents of Kazakhstan are now desperate to see what all the fuss is about -- so much so that they are willing to pay the 505 Kazakhstani tenge ($4) charge to have the DVD delivered from the U.K.," Parekh said Friday. (The film was released in the United States on DVD last Tuesday.)

Goosey's Gabbings...

Ok, so let me understand here. Everybody and their brother here is rushing to sue Baron Cohen because of the way they were portrayed in his movie, and the very people that Borat is supposed to represent are driving sales of the movie?

Perhaps there is some poetic justice here. HIGH FIVE!

Labels: bizarre, Borat, comedy, humorous, Kazakhstan, movies, news, odd, odd news, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, Sascha Baron Cohen, silly, strange, weird

Whale drowns would-be rescuer

TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese fisherman drowned on Tuesday after a whale he was trying to rescue capsized his small fishing boat, a coastguard official said.

Three fishermen tried to rescue the sperm whale, about 10-meter (yard) long, after it strayed into a bay off the southwestern island of Shikoku, about 800 km (500 miles) southwest of Tokyo.

But the panicked creature turned on them and struck the vessel, the coastguard official said.

A 58-year-old fisherman drowned while two other fishermen were rescued, he added.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Fisherman: Yeaaaah! We're going to free Willy! Yeaahhh! Ummm...OH SHIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

Labels: bizarre, humorous, japanese fisherman drowned, news, odd, odd news, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, strange, weird, weird news, whale drowns rescuer

Naked Man Dies Running from Police

DOVER, Del--Dover Police said a naked man died Saturday night after he was chased by police officers.

It happened after police received calls of a naked man on South New Street. Police say the man, 29-year-old Ivan Strickland of Glassboro, New Jersey, ran from them and then ran into a parked car. Police called for an ambulance and paramedics started CPR en route to the hospital.

Police say Strickland was pronounced dead at the hospital.

An autopsy will be performed to determine the cause of death.

Police say Strickland was in Dover visiting relatives.

Goosey's Gabbings...
Frank:We're goin' streakin'! Through the quad! Everybody's doin' it!
Wife: Who is?
Frank: (Looks back) They're coming.

...and they say nothing exciting happens in Delaware....

Labels: bizarre, comedy, delaware, dover, dumb criminals, funny, funny crimes, humorous, naked man dies running from police, odd, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, strange, weird crimes

Hourglass Curves are subject of Men's Lust

The traditional theory of beauty says that for every man who chases the voluptuous type, such as Jordan or Marilyn Monroe, there is another who prefers to woo a waif such as Twiggy or Kate Moss.

But this and the idea that beauty is subjective and ever-changing has been overturned by Prof Devendra Singh and his daughter Adrian Singh.

The psychologists from the University of Texas today publish research showing that lovestruck men have only one thing on their minds: a woman's WHR - waist-hip ratio, calculated by dividing waist circumference by that of the hips.

Jordan and Twiggy have something in common: both have waists that are noticeably narrower than their hips and Prof Singh has found evidence this "belle curve" is ingrained in the male brain in his studies of Playboy centrefolds, the ancient Egyptians and tests on men from Africa to the Azores.

"We searched the literature for any reference to a female waist and examined every passage that contained each such reference," said Prof Singh. "As a control, we also searched for the words breast, hip, buttocks, leg, thighs, slim and plump and compared how often the authors referred to these characteristics as attractive."

Two independent raters then judged whether the reference was romantic or non-romantic ("her hair came down to her waist" versus "longing to hold her lovely waist").

The romantic entries were divided into those which made no reference to size or shape (for example, "better are thy breasts than wine") and those in which either the shape or size was actually described (for example pretty, round, heavy breasts; slim or tapered waist) or defined by analogy ("thy breasts are like ripe pomegranates"; "whose waist is little as a wand").

For every century, three body parts - breasts, waist and thighs - are more often referred to as beautiful than other body parts.

The team also found the hourglass in ancient literature. Two ancient Indian epics, Mahabharata and Ramayana (first to third century), and Chinese sixth dynastic Palace poetry also link attractiveness with a wasp waist.

Consider, for instance, the description by Chinese writer Xu Ling (507–583): "Beautiful women in the palace of Chu, there were none who did not admire their slender waist; the fair woman of Wei." Similarly, the Mahabharata contains the description: "accept this slender-waisted damsel for thy spouse."

Remarkably, conclude the team, "even without the benefit of modern medical knowledge, both British and Asian writers intuited the biological link between health and beauty".

Goosey's Gabbings...

I am frankly astonished that the classic "Baby Got Back" was left out of this study. Nothing says it more than "I like big butts and I cannot lie..."

I guess this study gives merit to the fact that subscriptions to "Juggs" far outweigh "Anorexic stick people with their ribs showing".

Labels: comedy, funny, humorous, men's lust, news, odd, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, sex research, university of texas

Staten Island Sign Crews--Lurn two spel!

STATEN ISLAND A very observant CBS 2 viewer stumbled upon quite an embarrassing spelling error for Staten Island traffic officials when some road sign crews apparently had a bit of trouble spelling the word "yield."

It's hard to miss, and even if you do, you'll likely stumble upon it again and again...and again. Signs posted along Midland Beach read in bright green and white paint: YEILD TO PEDESTRIANS.

The grade school error is causing a stir in the community, and passersby are finding plenty of amusement in the mistake. After all, at what age is the common adage, "I before E, except after C" taught to us?

A spokesman for the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation told CBS 2: "It's an unfortunate mistake. An error was made. The signs should never have been put up."

And then, perhaps stating the obvious, the spokesperson added: "The person putting up the signs didn't notice."

Goosey's Gabbings...

So THAT's what Dan Quayle is doing these days.

Evidently road crews were so frustrated trying to get the spelling of Rudy Guiliani's name correct, they just put "Rudy-not the guy from Notre Dame."

Labels: crazy, funny, funny news, new york news, news, odd, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, silly, staten island sign, strange