CENTRAL ISLIP, N.Y. (AP) - A Long Island, N.Y., teacher who alleged she was fired from her job because administrators thought she was a witch lost her US$2-million lawsuit in U.S. District Court on Tuesday.

The jury deliberated for an hour before deciding Lauren Berrios, 37, wasn't entitled to any money from the Hampton Bays school district, her ex-employer. The trial began March 7.

"I think the jury saw this for what it was - a publicity stunt," said lawyer Steven Stern, who represented the district.

"We're glad the district can put this chapter behind them."

Berrios, who denied ever practising witchcraft, sued the Long Island district in 2001 after she was dismissed from her job as a reading specialist teacher. After two years, she was denied tenure and let go.

The school district claimed its decision came because Berrios did not get along with co-workers, had a condescending attitude and conjured stories about phantom injuries to her son.

Her lawyer, John Ray, said in opening statements Berrios was a victim of prejudice from her school's principal, Andrew Albano, a born-again Christian. Albano fired her after deciding Berrios was a witch, Ray said.

Defence lawyer Stern said Berrios told co-workers about visiting a coven meeting but was not fired for being a witch. Instead, Stern said, she was a bizarre "storyteller" who fabricated tales that her husband was involved in a plane crash, and her two-year-old son lost his fingers in a VCR accident.

"These are always difficult cases," Ray said.

"We're sad but it proves Lauren is not a witch."

Berrios now works as a teacher in the Atlanta area. She planned to fly home later Tuesday.

Goosey's Gabbings...

And by Atlanta, we mean Hogwarts. And by flying, we mean by broom. (That one was too easy)

Labels: bizarre, dumb lawsuits, fired for being a witch, humorous, Lauren Berrios, lawsuits, new york news, news, odd, odd news, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, strange, weird

A racing driver sent a life-sized cardboard cut-out of himself and a pre-recorded speech to be best man at a wedding.

Racing driver Andy Priaulx couldn't be there in person because he was racing in Brazil, reports the Daily Mirror.

The cut-out stood next to the altar as Andy Richmond, 34, and Carlee Yates, 27, tied the knot in front of 100 guests.

Carlee even took the cut-out for a dance after the ceremony.

Andy, 32 - twice world touring car champion - had to drop out after unexpectedly being called to race in South America.

The BMW ace hired a sign-maker to create the 6ft photograph of himself for the the wedding at Castle Cornet in Guernsey.

And during the race in Brazil he wore a message on his crash helmet wishing the couple good luck.

Nursery worker Carlee said: "It was brilliant. It was funny and emotional, a real tear-jerker. Andy pulled out all the stops. He was determined to be in two places at once."

Goosey's Gabbings..

Well, at least this way there can't be any horror stories of finding the bride in the back room with the best man...Although I am sure with some creativity that could still be done. Sorry--I'm a bad clown.

Labels: Andy Priaulx, bizarre, cut out best man, funny, humorous, news, odd, odd news, offbeat, offbeat news, wedding, wedding stories, weird

Li Jianping, 43, of Shishi City, Fujian province, says the nails on his left hand are one metre long in total.

He told the Straits City News he was very proud of them but admitted they could be an inconvenience at times.

“I never go to crowded places. And during sleep, I have to keep my left wrist under my head to prevent the hand from moving,” says Li, who owns a grocery store.

The current length took 15 years to achieve, but he first started to grow them 23 years ago.

“When I was 20, I read a news report saying an Indian man had let the fingernails on his left hand grow to around one meter. Then I made up my mind to surpass him," he said.

“Before 1992, my nails were broken twice in accidents: once when I was moving things, the second time by a friend. Each time I had to start over.”

Labels: bizarre, creepy, fingernails, funny, humorous, man grows fingernails for 15 years, news, odd, offbeat, offbeat news, strange, weird

HILLSIDE, N.J. (AP) - Police here say a man charged with drug possession had an unusual place to store his stash: his 6-year-old daughter's jacket pocket. Dennis Riker, 41, raised suspicions Monday morning when he stopped by his daughter's school in Hillside, saying he had left his keys in her jacket.

But the staff at the A.P. Morris School would not let him in because Riker was not the girl's legal guardian. That role belonged to the girl's grandmother.

Police said Riker, unbeknownst to the school, called the woman to ask her to come to the school. Meanwhile, school officials called her, too, but believed someone else answered and impersonated the woman. And then, the actual grandmother arrived, saying she wanted the girl's jacket.

It was all so strange that principal Tracey Wolff called police to the school. An officer checked the coat and found 25 vials of cocaine and a half-ounce rock of crack in the pocket inside.

Riker was charged with drug possession with intent to distribute and possessing drugs within 1,000 feet of a school. He was being held in municipal jail on $40,000 bail.

The grandmother said her son duped her into asking for the jacket.

And the 6-year-old? Authorities said she had no idea what was in her pocket.

"It's unconscionable that an adult would knowingly put drugs in a child's coat pocket," Police Chief Robert Quinlan told The Star-Ledger of Newark for Tuesday's newspapers.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Imagine Riker's surprise when he showed up to give his buddy his stash and pulled out a charms blow pop. What a perfect idea for a Mentos commercial! (Cue shrugging of shoulders and smile awkwardly at camera)

Labels: bad parenting, bizarre, comedy, crime, drug bust, dumb crimes, dumb people, funny, new jersey news, news, odd, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, weird

DAYTON — March 2: Officers responded to a residence in the 1000 block of Xenia Avenue on a drug complaint. The resident was on the porch.

The subject walked down as officers approached. There was a faint odor of marijuana. The subject admitted to having smoked some that day. The smell became stronger as the officers stood at the fence. He went in to get ID. The odor was much stronger in the living room. There were heavy extensions cords running from the kitchen up the stairs.

The subject became increasingly nervous. An officer advised him to relax, noting it takes a lot of weed for a felony. The subject said, "It's a lot."

He said his gas had been shut off several months and the cords were for heaters upstairs. The subject gave officers permission to search upstairs, stating "It doesn't matter. You're going to find it anyways."

Approximately 102 marijuana plants were found in a bedroom. An elaborate lighting system hung from the ceiling and there was an irrigation system. The walls and windows were covered with aluminum foil. Additional plants were in the closet. A shotgun was recovered.

The subject was cited for possession of drugs and paraphernalia and cultivation of marijuana. He noted he really loves pot and when he gets out of prison he'll continue to smoke it.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Hey, it's me, open up.

What?

It's ME, Dave man, open up!

Dave's not here man.

No, it's me DAVE, come on man open up!

No, Dave's not here.

Labels: bizarre, comedy, crime, dayton ohio, drug bust, drugs, dumb crimes, dumb criminals, funny, humorous, marijuana, news, odd, oddball humor, offbeat, offbeat news, strange, weird

JAKARTA, Indonesia (AP) -- Indonesian police sleeping on the job? Maybe, just don't tell the whole country about it.

Police are threatening to sue cigarette manufacturer PT Djarum for a nationwide advertising campaign - appearing on billboards, TV and in magazines - that pokes fun at officers dozing on the job.

"The force is a state institution that deserves respect," said police spokesman Maj. Gen. Sisno Adiwinoto.

The ad is a visual and linguistic pun on the phrase "sleeping policemen," which in Indonesia is a term used for speed bumps. It features a road sign warning motorists of bumps, amended to read "Be careful, the police are snoozing."

Adiwinoto claimed that Djarum had agreed to withdraw the ads, one of which is spread across a billboard yards from police headquarters. But Adiwinoto said police were "still discussing whether we need to take legal action or just send them a strong warning."

Djarum, which makes a popular brand of clove cigarettes, was not available for comment.

The Indonesian police force is regarded by critics as one of the country's most corrupt and lazy institutions, but is sensitive toward criticism. Thlanguagee lead singer of a punk band is currently on trial for comparing officers to dogs in a song.

Goosey's Gabbings...

The LAPD have voiced concern over this image depicted by Indonesian police and have sent a copy of the DVD "The Rodney King Workout". Film at 11.

Labels: billboards, bizarre, comedy, humorous, indonesia, news, odd news, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, police, strange, weird

Labels: bizarre, crazy, dumb criminals, funny, funny news, humorous, news, odd news, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, ohio lottery, ohio news, strange, weird, weird news

VICTORIA (CP) - A woman who slashed a man's penis with a knife during an intimate encounter was acquitted Tuesday after a jury accepted her explanation of self-defence.

Deanna Quiring was found not guilty of aggravated assault in B.C. Supreme Court. Quiring became sexually involved with Martin Sirois to settle a drug debt, said her lawyer, Maylan McKimm.

"He had demanded a sexual favour for that," McKimm said. "And in the course of the sexual conduct he began to choke her and in response to that she reached into her purse and retrieved a knife, which she slashed at him with and cut his penis."

Sirois suffered serious cuts to his penis and chest.

McKimm said the case came down to the jury having to decide who to believe, "whether the version of Mr. Sirois that he was an innocent victim or the version of Miss Quiring that in fact she had been attacked and throttled as a result of which she lashed out at him."

In his defence, McKimm also argued that Quiring was traumatized from years of abuse as a child.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Ok, Ok, now wait a minute here...he was obviously doing something she didn't like, right? He was choking her..ok. So then, she reaches into her purse (while he's choking her still evidently), pulls out a knife (still choking), slices his chest (probably not choking any longer), and penis (definitely not choking any longer).

Does this seem a little odd to anyone? Was he blindfolded or something? How is a person able to do all of these things while being choked-and how does someone doing the choking end up like this?

Not saying it's right by any means, I mean the guy got some pretty serious poetic justice...but please....come on!!!! Doesn't anyone but me see the holes cut (or in this case, sliced) in this story?

Labels: bizarre, brutal crimes, canada, creepy, crime, dumb crimes, lawsuits, odd, odd news, offbeat, offbeat news, penis slicing, strange, weird

BILLINGS, Mont. (AP) -- A man told police not to blame him for crashing his truck into a light post - it was that unicorn behind the wheel. Prosecutor Ingrid Rosenquist said Phillip C. Holliday Jr. initially denied driving the truck involved in the March 7 crash in Billings. He told officers at the scene that a unicorn was driving, she said.

Holliday, 42, pleaded not guilty Tuesday to felony charges of criminal endangerment and drunken driving.

A pickup truck drove through a red light and nearly struck another truck in the intersection, according to court documents. The driver then made an erratic U-turn through a gas station, crossed the street and crashed into a light pole. Nobody was injured.

Holliday has five drunken-driving convictions. District Judge Gregory Todd kept his bail at $100,000 despite his lawyer arguing that Holliday's last such conviction was 14 years ago.

Goosey's Gabbings...

Reasons Holliday gave during his other 5 drunk driving convictions:

1) I saw a notice to "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.

2) Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it was the thirteenth or fourteenth.

3)I was not drunk! I was over-served!

4)Hey, do you think fish know they're wet?

5) All I remember is that I had a pillow and it walked away when I got to second base.

Labels: bizarre, comedy, dumb crimes, dumb people, funny, humorous, man claims unicorn caused crash, news, odd, odd news, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, strange, unicorns, weird

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A Russian woman paid a former convict to kill her 17-year-old son because she was fed up with sharing her small one-room apartment with him, the newspaper Izvestia reported on Wednesday.The 42-year-old crane operator paid the man a 2,100 rouble ($80) deposit to kill her son, Izvestia said. But the would-be hitman told the police who set up a sting operation and arrested her when she handed over the 900 rouble 'completion' payment.

The woman and her son shared the tiny apartment in the Moscow region with their respective partners and there were frequent rows, which became worse when the son's girlfriend became pregnant.

"The woman decided that by snuffing out her son she could solve her housing problems," the paper said.

Prosecutors confirmed the report and said the suspect would be charged soon.

Chronic housing shortages have dogged Russia for decades. The problem has eased slightly since the collapse of the Soviet Union, but many families of several generations still share cramped apartments.

Goosey's Gabbings..

So, again, what's worse here...a mother hiring someone to off her son or the fact that is was 80 bucks? Good gravy, what would 1000 bucks buy? The Russian premier?

Labels: bizarre, brutal crimes, dumb crimes, dumb criminals, mother hires man to kill son, news, odd, oddball humor, oddball news, offbeat, offbeat news, russian news, sad news, stupid criminals