Gooseys Gabbings-The World of Weird Bizarre and Odd News

> Gooseys Gabbings-The World of Weird Bizarre and Odd News

Monday, March 19, 2007

Man Angry for No-Shows at HIS Funeral

A Bosnian man has written to all his friends to complain after only his elderly mum turned up for his funeral.

Amir Vehabovic, 45, faked his own death just to see how many people would attend.

He then watched from the bushes as only his elderly mum turned up for the burial in the north Bosnian town of Gradiska.

In the letter to the 45 people he invited to the burial he said: "I paid a lot of money to get a fake death certificate and bribe undertakers to deliver an empty coffin.

"I really thought a lot more of you, my so-called friends, would turn up to pay their last respects. It just goes to show who you can really count on."

Goosey's Gabbings...

Ok, now let's think about this for a second....If you HAVE to do a fake funeral to see how many of your friends show up, what do you REALLY think things are like if you HAVE to do that??? Rhetorically, this situation is pathetic but actually makes a lot of sense--what an insensitive PRICK. Maybe now since you pulled this prank not even your mum will show up when it REALLY happens, jerk!

Labels: bizarre, Bosnia, comedy, fake funeral, funerals, funny, humorous, news, odd, oddball humor, offbeat, offbeat news, quirky, weird

Breathalyzer Tests being given--to Teachers

A Bulgarian school is reporting an improvement in student grades after introducing a breathalyzer test for teachers.

The headmaster of Hristo Botev school in Vratsa brought in the tests for all teachers after students complained they were turning up smelling of beer and the local home-made spirit rakia.

Headmaster Victor Krastev said: "At first the teachers thought I was joking but they soon got used to the test, and it works perfectly - now they are all as sober as babies and we have seen a 15% improvement in grades."

He said he planned to pass on his experiences to other headmasters who claim they have the same problems with staff.

Goosey's Gabbings...

First of all, I have to say I've never heard of the cliche "Sober as babies.." but I guess it's basically logical...anyways...

I'm glad that scores are improving, but good Lord...Breathalyzer tests for Teachers? So it's that much of a problem, eh? The funny thing is--you would think that with the lowered inhibitions and other "goggle" effects that alcohol brings on that there would be more problems with inappropriateness with teachers and students--but apparently there's not--so again, what kind of society do we as Americans REALLY live in??? (Hint: it's not good!)

Labels: alcohol, bizarre, breathalyzer, Bulgaria, comedy, drinking, humorous, news, odd, offbeat, offbeat news, quirky, teachers, weird

Man tries to rob 7-11 with Screwdriver, Ends up only screwing himself

OAKLAND PARK, Fla. -- A Lauderdale-By-The-Sea man who police said tried to rob a 7-Eleven Sunday night armed with a Phillips head screwdriver is facing several charges including fleeing police and armed robbery.Just after 11 p.m. on Sunday, 42-year-old Peter Kafafian walked into a 7-Eleven store at 5890 N. Andrews Ave., according to the Broward County Sheriff's Office.The man went up to the counter where clerk Patricia Finnegan was counting cash, threatened her with a screwdriver and demanded money, police said. When a second clerk pulled a knife from behind the counter, Kafafian ran out of the store and sped away, according to police.

Two customers who were outside of the store followed Kafafian and called police, according to the BSO. Police said they spotted Kafafian's car near Federal Highway and East Oakland Park Boulevard. According to police, Kafafian ran a red light at Federal Highway, drove over the cement median to make a U-turn near A1A, started driving west on Oakland Park Boulevard, and then crashed into a red Pontiac.Following the crash, police found Kafafian unconscious behind the wheel. A small fire was burning beneath the car and the doors to the car could not be opened, police said.Deputies broke out the driver’s side window and pulled Kafafian to safety. The driver of the Pontiac wasn't hurt, police said.Kafafian was taken to a hospital, where he was treated for minor injuries suffered in the crash.

Goosey's Gabbings...

"My shoulder doesn't hurt, but my face does. Right here. Not here or here so much, but right here."

Labels: bizarre, comedy, dumb crimes, florida, funny, humorous, man robs 7-11 with screwdriver, odd, offbeat, offbeat news, quirky, robberies, strange, weird

Nissan's "Lost Key" Campaign Raises Eyebrows

Nissan’s latest marketing stunt should stir some interest, or at least some confusion. The company will intentionally “lose” 200,000 sets of keys in bars, concert halls, and other public facilities in order to promote the Altima’s keyless ignition system. The tag attached to the keys states: “If found, please do not return. My Next Generation Nissan Altima has Intelligent Key with push-button ignition, and I no longer need these.” The campaign was created by True Agency in Los Angeles, for a reported sum of only $100,000.

It’s a unique campaign to say the least. We hope their dumping of 200,000 key rings is done in partnership with each facility, or Nissan could be in for an interesting conversation with the safety watchdogs. Users can log onto altimakeys.com or send a text message to the code on the tag to enter for prizes.

Goosey's Gabbings...

This is the ultimate contest for all of the Schneiders out there. But more than likely it will just be a prankster's day at the park when these keyrings will be used on the Altimas' paint jobs with some interesting anecdotes, I am sure.

Labels: Altima, bizarre, comedy, funny, humorous, lost keyrings, marketing, news, Nissan, odd, offbeat, offbeat news, quirky, weird

Michael Jackson registers in Hotel as Woman..so, where's the news here?

Just call him Ms. Jackson.

Staffers at a posh London hotel are buzzing about what a diva Michael Jackson has been during a recent stay there — and how he went incognito by registering as a woman.

“Jacko would certainly give J. Lo a good run for her money on the diva stakes by bringing a team of 10 security guards to look after him and his two kids — Prince, 10, and 9-year-old Paris Michael — on their whistle-stop visit to London,” reports the London Evening Standard, which says Jackson has placed two “scary bouncers” by the elevator doors on the floor he’s booked for him and his entourage to make sure that no one can get any access to him. No word on the whereabouts of little Blanket.

“We have many big stars staying here, but Michael is very fussy,” the paper quoted a staffer at the Jumeirah Carlton Tower, where the presidential suite goes for $5,800 a night. “He has a massive group with him and they are taking up the whole top floor of the place and making our jobs difficult ... because it is all top secret and we have to make sure that nobody knows he is here.”

Perhaps the point that really sparks the staff’s ire is that Jackson has been tight with the tips. “Madonna always gives us money,” gripped one. “Jacko hasn’t yet.”

Goosey's Gabbings...

Finally, the weird one gets a post on the News of the Weird here. It's about time! Sources tell me this ploy backfired when news of Janet Jackson at the hotel brought throngs of fans...but were dissapointed when all they saw was someone who looked like E.T. when he went out for Halloween....

"Yes, I'd like to check in, please"

Labels: bizarre, comedy, funny, humorous, Michael Jackson, music, news, odd, offbeat, offbeat news, quirky, weird

Cat Bite nets man $122,000 in retribution

FLUSHING, Mich. - A nasty bite on the hand that a man got from his sister's Siamese cat is worth $122,400.

A jury on Friday awarded Michael Sabo, 57, the money for an injury he got when the cat, Randy, bit his right hand in March 2004.

Sabo's fingers swelled so much that they looked like "plump hot dogs," his attorney, Tom Pabst, told The Flint Journal, and an infection put Sabo in a hospital for three weeks. He had to pay thousands in medical bills.

Pabst said Sabo's sister, Jean Toney, had warned people not to pick up Randy because he had bitten people before, but the newspaper said the cat leapt into Sabo's lap.

Sabo initially tried to get his sister's homeowner's insurance policy to cover the cost of treatment. When that request was refused, Sabo had no choice but to take the matter to court, Pabst said.

There was no answer Sunday at a telephone listing for Toney. A call to Pabst on Sunday wasn't immediately returned.

Goosey's Gabbings...
When asked for a comment from Randy, the cat responded with "I apologize for the pain inflicted on my owner's brother. I did not intend for it to get to this point. To be honest, that bastard has been treating me like garbage for a while, so at the time it seemed like a good thing to do. In retrospect, I wish I just would have sprayed his face instead of the violent action I chose to take. I am currently in cat anger management classes, and my progress has been substantial. I am allowed balls of strings but have not been allowed anything with catnip as of yet, which is my next goal. Again, I apologize for my actions and hope that someday Michael can forgive me."

Labels: bizarre, cat bite, comedy, dumb lawsuits, flushing, funny, humorous, lawsuits, michigan, news, odd, offbeat, offbeat news, quirky, weird

Hardcore Porn interrupts Brokaw Broadcast

MESA, Ariz. - A cable news program was temporarily replaced with hard-core pornography, shocking viewers who had been watching a health show featuring former NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw.

The incident Monday night on KPPX-TV was “an act of human sabotage” at the Phoenix-area station, said ION Television, which operates the station.

“We have launched a rigorous investigation, and any implicated employees will face strict disciplinary action and termination,” ION Media Networks spokeswoman Leslie Monreal said in a statement.

‘There were these images’
Brenda Schodt, of Chandler, said she was shocked to look up and see graphic sex acts on her television screen.

“Maybe five or 10 minutes into the show there was no volume,” Schodt said. “I thought it was the TV, but when I looked up, there were these images.”

ION Television, based in West Palm Beach, Fla., declined to say whether the pornography aired beyond the Phoenix market.

Goosey's Gabbings...

So somebody got away with a full-fledged Tyler Durden act, eh?

Sources tell me that despite the porn, Brokaw's performance was "less than stellar".

What would be even more interesting is to see the impact on the broadcast--the ratings after this--if people were watching more to see another, er, slip, or dropped off because of it. Either way, this is probably the most exciting thing in broadcast news since Marv Albert decided to leave his dental records on a prostitute.

Labels: arizona, bizarre, broadcast news, funny, humorous, news, odd, offbeat, offbeat news, phoenix, porn, quirky, Tom Brokaw, weird

New Mexico Man Arrested on 28th DWI Charge

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) - Bernalillo County sheriff's deputies have arrested a man on suspicion of complaint.

Deputies said they tried to give Brill a field sobriety test but he could not complete the test. He then refused to give a breath test.

Deputies also found an open container of beer in his trunk.

"People like Joseph Brill will never get it. They don't care," Sheriff Darren White said. "He needs to go to prison, and that's the way we're going to insure he does not drive a car drunk."

According to the complaint, Brill had 27 prior DWI offenses with at least 14 convictions before his arrest Wednesday. Records also show that he has had his license revoked five times and has spent nearly four years in New Mexico jails and prisons on DWI charges.

At the time of his arrest, he was on parole for two of the convictions, according to records.

Linda Atkinson, executive director of the Albuquerque-based DWI Resource Center, said she had never seen someone with 28 DWI arrests.

"It's pretty disgusting to see someone who can continue to defy the odds with a history like that," she said.

Brill was being held at the Metropolitan Detention Center on a $100,000 bond. His case will be heard in state district court because it is a felony.

Under New Mexico law, the maximum sentence for a seventh or subsequent DWI is three years in prison, a $5,000 fine, alcohol treatment and lifetime revocation.

Goosey's Gabbings...

28 times, eh? Does this guy have like a Speedpass through the judicial system or something? When questioned as to why he did it, he proclaimed, "I woulda gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddlin' kids!"

Labels: bizarre, crime, dui, dumb criminals, dwi, funny, humorous, new mexico, news, odd, offbeat, offbeat news, quirky, weird

First Class Flight with a Corpse

LONDON (Reuters) - A passenger in first class woke up to a shock when he found himself sitting near a corpse on a British Airways flight, British newspapers reported on Monday.

Paul Trinder, 54, said cabin crew moved the body of the elderly woman from the economy section where she had died after take-off, the Mirror and Sun tabloids said.

"The corpse was strapped into the seat but because of turbulence it kept slipping down on to the floor," Trinder, a businessman, was quoted as saying. "It was horrific. The body had to be wedged in place with lots of pillows."

The woman's daughter was also upgraded and spent the rest of the nine-hour flight from Delhi to London grieving next to her dead mother, the Sun reported.

The Guardian newspaper said the incident happened last week.

British Airways has apologized for any distress suffered, according to the reports. The Mirror quoted BA as saying: "We apologize, but our crew were working in difficult circumstances and chose the option they thought would cause least disruption."

Goosey's Gabbings...

Ok, so there's some silver lining to this. At least the guy sitting next to the corpse didn't have to deal with a snorer, gabber (like me!), someone who couldn't sit still, and he probably was able to have her peanuts! Bonus!

Labels: bizarre, british airways, creepy, england, funny, humorous, London news, news, odd, offbeat, offbeat news, quirky, strange, weird